5 Ways to Find Peace in Hard Seasons

It’s not easy to step back and find peace when you’re in the thick of what’s driving you crazy or upsetting you, and that’s okay. But, when the thing that’s upsetting you lasts for days, it’s time to start turning your attention elsewhere to find peace.

Nobody, and I mean not a single person, can last very long when they’re upset. The longer you stay upset the harder it is to get out of it, and the harder it is to get out of it the more brash and volatile you’ll get. What started off as an upsetting event, has now turned into a chaotic nightmare of a week, month, year, however long it might have been. This is not a sustainable mindset.

Every single chaotic nightmare I’ve found myself in was of my own creation. Rather than finding a way to sustain my sanity and turn my attention to life giving things, I always chose to stare right at what was upsetting me and watch it fester into an entirely new beast.

Luckily, after some of the hardest seasons of my life, I found a couple ways in which I could break my gaze and turn my attention to better things. Through therapy and just walking through those seasons thinking, “I’d give anything not to feel this way right now,” I finally got sick of of feeling that way and set my sights on successful coping.

I’d like to share with you some of those coping mechanisms, and hopefully encourage you to look beyond your hard season too.

1. Get Moving

This one is possibly the most universal tip because it works for any emotion. Exercise is the best way to renew the energy inside of you, or just expel it entirely.

I found that exercise is almost a cure all for any mental state I’m in. When I’m losing my mind in rage and anger, picking up a weight and busting out a couple hundred reps of squats, sit-ups and just about any other move allows me to release those emotions. When I’m upset, getting moving with some yoga or cardio turns my mood around. And when anxiety kicks in, turning on a fast paced workout video and following along takes my mind off of what had originally been occupying it.

It can be hard to get up initially and start moving, but in the middle and once it’s over you’ll feel so much better. Ask yourself, are you more willing to continue feeling the way you do than you are willing to try something new?

2. Get Out

I mean it, just go outside. Step your feet onto the pavement, the grass, the whatever surface is just outside your house. Fresh air is a game changer.

I feel like this tip might sound as mundane as the “drink water” tip you always see on those self care instagram pages, but honestly it has to be said. In my lowest moments, like when depression kicks in, the kind that makes you want to give up on showering for a few days and not get out of bed, willing myself to get outside is just beyond me. But I step just one foot outside, and all of a sudden I got the other one coming right along with it.

Getting that breathe of clean, fresh air in my lungs convicts my body to keep going. I mentally may not want to move or try anything to get out of my funk, but my lungs want the air, so outside we go. And if this seems like too much for you, just open the closest window and take a deep breath. A step can be small and still help, as long as it’s a step in the right direction.

3. Be Present

This can either be an addition to all of the other mechanisms listed here, or a step all on it’s own. I find that when anxiety sets in, usually because I’m already angry, upset, or depressed, grounding myself in the here and now is just about all I can do mentally to put my head back on my shoulders and move on.

In therapy when I was younger, I was taught to reign in my anxiety by using this fairly easy grounding technique, and I swear by it.

• Start by closing your eyes and placing both feet on the floor. (this usually works best if you’re sitting)
• Take three deep breaths
• Notice how your feet feel on the floor. Ask yourself: Where am I applying pressure on the soles of my feet? How does the material of the floor or my shoes/socks feel against my skin? And don’t judge yourself for any of your answers.
• Move on to other parts of your body: How does your butt feel in the chair? Is your posture slouched? Is the chair soft or rough? How does the room smell? Can you hear anything from where you’re sitting?
• Continue breathing through this until you feel calm enough to go back to the task at hand.

This technique has been a God send for me. When your heart or your mind races with things you’d rather not be focused on, focusing intently on the physical world around you can help you return to what is actually happening right in front of you. More or less, if your mental space is in the clouds, focusing on your physical space can pull you back to earth.

4. Be Quiet

If you need to scream or talk something out, that’s okay. Take your time and do those things (without hurting anyone if you can). But if you find yourself in a chaotic nightmare of your own creation and there’s not really anyone around to listen at the moment, start listening yourself.

Go sit outside, in your bedroom, in the kitchen, or at the park. Sit and listen to everything going on around you.

More or less, I’m suggesting that you meditate, but in a not super meditative kind of way. All I’m suggesting is that you allow the sounds you’re hearing to become the thoughts you’re having. Rather than letting your inner dialogue run rampant, let the sound of the fan in your room absorb your focus. Let the hum of the refrigerator working, the whoosh of the air conditioner blowing, or the chirp of a bird singing be your focus. Get lost in it.

This is similar to the grounding technique, but with a heavier focus on auditory stimulation.

5. Give Back

This is my favorite one. It’s a bit more challenging, and is more so a follow up to the aforementioned coping mechanisms.

Once you’ve gotten yourself up, gotten moving, and gotten outside, you can move on to putting some energy into making the world a better place. This tip makes me think of that one episode of Friends where Joey tells Phoebe that there’s no such thing as a selfless good deed. To a degree I think he’s right, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. If people didn’t get a good feeling from helping others and helping the planet, then it’d be a lot harder to find someone willing to help with anything at all.

If you have taken your first simple steps to find peace, then your next step is to find joy, and the best way to find joy is by bringing joy to others and healing to the planet. You can volunteer at a soup kitchen or donation center, you can go through your closet and donate gently used clothes (particularly clothes that no longer make you happy), or use the pain you’ve been through to help others out of their own pain by relating to them on your shared experiences. You can also start a garden and enjoy watching the bees come buzzing around for nourishment, cook yourself and your friends a healthy meal, or take a walk and pick up litter along the way.

All of these activities are sure you boost your mood by boosting the moods of others. Shared joy is the best joy.

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All of these coping mechanisms require action, and sometimes even the beginning actions can feel impossible. Beyond these tips, it is also always a good idea to contact professional help. I myself have been in therapy for years, and I couldn’t possibly recommend it more. If you find yourself in a rut or in a place where you just need more help than you could get from the above ideas, contacting a therapist is a great next step. A couple resources you can use to find a therapist are Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists) or BetterHelp (https://www.betterhelp.com).

Regardless of what you’re going through, you’ve got this. It might not feel like it, but you do, and I hope some of these tips have helped you. I was taught a while ago, “it’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way.”

Let me know: Have you tried any of these coping mechanisms in your own life? What helps you the most when you’re feeling low?

5 Little Ways To Cut Down On Household Waste

On an average day, an American individual produces 4.51 pounds of trash according to estimates in 2017 from the United Sates Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). On a global stage, this sets America up to be the third most waste producing country only behind Canada and Bulgaria. These numbers are staggering, especially since so much of what ends up in landfills can end up being substances that could have been disposed of in much more eco-friendly ways. According to those same findings from the EPA, 139 million tons of waste out of the yearly average of 267.8 ended up in landfills. However, much of what did go to landfill could have easily been reused or disposed of in better ways.

There are plenty of ways in which we can all cut down on our waste production. We can recycle according to our local guidelines, purchase products in little to no packaging or with recyclable or compostable packaging, and donate our used goods that may have been well loved but still have plenty of love to give.

But, there are also many ways that are a bit less common in which we can all strive to be more sustainable in our consumerism.

1. Buy in Bulk

Sometimes buying food or other items in bulk may seem unreasonable. Unless you have a large family or many mouths to feed, buying large amounts of food at a time puts you at risk of letting some of that food go bad before being used. However, You can still buy in bulk within reason for your life.

This could mean buying flour, nuts and seeds, or other non-perishables in large quantities. Or, for non-edible items, buying hand soap in gallon sizes to refill smaller counter top bottles, or doing the same with shampoos and body washes.

All of this will help you to create less waste buy buying one larger package rather than multiple smaller packages. Often these smaller packages, while physically smaller, create more waste in the long run from the amount you’ll be buying more frequently. You will also find you’ll have to get to the store less often, and you’ll save money in the long term as many places offer discounts on bulk items.

2. Reuse Textiles

Not everyone knows how to sew, and that’s okay. You really don’t need to know how to sew to reuse your loose fabric scraps.

Recently, I found I had a few shirts I’ve been holding on to for years but never really wear, and I would if only they were slightly adjusted. So, I cut a layer of fabric off the bottom of one of those shirts to create a much cuter crop top version, and got to use the fabric strip I cut off to make a super cute headband without any sewing.

You can take these loose scraps and make just about anything, and Pinterest is a great place to find new ideas. However, you can also use old clothes that haven’t gotten cut for scraps but are unwearable for kitchen rags, gentle hair towels, and cushioned packing material.

3. Goody Swaps

This is one of my friends and I’s favorite things to do! Often when seasons change or someone moves, we’ll all get together to do a clothing and goody swap- more or less it’s a swap meet! We’re lucky that we all wear vaguely similar sizes and have overlapping styles.

Each person can bring clothes or items they no longer use and begin swapping with each other for new-to-you items that still have so much use left. Most often my friends and I find ourselves swapping clothes and cosmetics that have been cleaned and only lightly used. It’s a great way to make sure you don’t waste any cosmetic products, especially when you found the product wasn’t right for you but you still have a lot left.

This is a great idea for any group of friends trying to save money for the holidays as well. Giving the gift of sustainability between friends is always fun!

4. Up-cycle Packaging

We’re all pretty used to wrapping our gifts in wrapping paper and gift bags with ribbon. Problem is, these items often aren’t recyclable and will ultimately end up in landfill. A simple solution is to reuse the bags and gift wrap, but there are better options for when it’s time to replace these items.

My favorite way to up-cycle items as gift packaging is to hit up my local goodwill and antique shops to find cute jars and old bottles that I can fit gifts in to. Not only do my friends and family receive their gifts, but they also receive a cute jar they can use however they want!

Other items you can reuse as packaging are fabric scraps, gently used sheets and bedding, or you can go the Jim Halpert route and find a cute sentimental teapot! (Where my The Office fans at??)

5. Composting

No matter where you live, you should be composting. Composting is the best way to get rid of any organic material, which just about everyone uses a lot of on any given day. Organic materials are often disposed of in landfills, and when they end up there they get buried among the garbage and produce what’s called methane gas. Through anaerobic decomposition organic matter releases methane into the atmosphere which causes the rapid acceleration of global atmospheric pollution.

I never used to want to do this because I assumed composting materials in my apartment would stink up the place, but it really doesn’t have to be that way. You can purchase a number of different kinds of composting bins online that will do all the work for you once you plop in some banana peels and egg shells, you can freeze your compost materials, or you can find a simple outdoor bin to keep on your balcony if you have one.

Once you’re ready to dump your compost bin, or your freezer is full to the brim with organic material, there are a number of ways you can get rid of the waste. First off, if you do have your own garden and backyard, you can go ahead and use your compost materials yourself when it’s ready. However, for those without gardens and yards, you can donate your compost to your local community garden if they have a compost heap, to your neighbors who do have gardens, or you can check and see if your community has a public composting program.

For more ideas on composting, here is a great article: https://goingzerowaste.com/blog/composting-for-apartments/

Becoming more sustainable in waste production is possible for everyone. That being said, some of these things might be a stretch for you, and that’s okay. Doing what you can each day, and getting better as you go is ultimately the goal. The one thing we shouldn’t do is get comfortable with our waste production if it is continually causing harm to our beautiful planet.

Let me know: In what ways are you becoming more sustainable in your waste production? Have you gotten into any of the above suggestions?